


Dance For You

by aixmarie



Series: Music For You [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:47:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29013057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aixmarie/pseuds/aixmarie
Summary: And right now, as he sits at the other side of the door, he lets himself release all the pent up pain that he has been holding back for weeks now. Tears start to fall down, and he lets it.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Series: Music For You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128419
Kudos: 9





	Dance For You

It came the moment he closed the door of that damned practice room - the regret. He lied to Jihoon, more so he lied to himself. No, he isn’t ready to let go of his feelings for the younger. But he had to say it out loud, to convince himself more than to convince the other.

He expected to find answers in Jihoon’s eyes tonight, but he was not able to. Not because Jihoon showed no emotions, but more because he could not focus at all. His vision was hazy, his heart was racing, his head was spinning, his mind went blank and haywire at the same time. Even if there was anything to pick up there, it was just impossible for him to decipher whatever it was.

But Jihoon’s words hung in the air… _“Soonyoung… how can you say that? I had a hard time too.”_ He does not know what to make out of them. _“Soonyoung… please.”_

It hurt. A lot.

And right now, as he sits at the other side of the door, he lets himself release all the pent up pain that he has been holding back for weeks now. Tears start to fall down, and he lets it.

_'I don't know if I can.. or how long it will take. But if I really have to let you go, I'll try my best Ji. I don't want to give you a hard time anymore.'_

And with that, he breaks himself even more, going all out with the pain. He decides that after tonight, after he cries everything out, he will only try to fix himself.

\------------

“Soonyoung, is everything alright?” Seungcheol stands from where he’s seated. He’s been there since a few hours ago and he didn’t even say anything when he arrived. He just took a seat and watched him as he figures the choreography by himself.

He never took a break, not until he felt the pain take over his shoulder. “Yeah I’m alright.” he lied. “Just a bit exhausted, that’s all.”

“Hey, take a break.” Seungcheol hands him a water bottle, eyes filled with worry. “Everyone’s gone out for dinner. Why don’t we go after them?”

“I’m not hungry, hyung.” he lied again. Well, technically it’s not a lie. He hasn’t eaten since last night, but he doesn’t feel hungry. He just wants this choreography to be perfect. Ever since he listened to the song, he knew he needed to make it perfect. He wouldn’t want to waste Jihoon’s masterpiece with a lame choreography - that’s something he would never do.

“Hey it’s okay to take a break.”

“It’s our second full album, hyung. I really am okay.”

“Then I’ll stay here with you.”

Such a stubborn leader.. Okay, maybe he cares - a lot. He probably must be starving since they just finished practicing for their upcoming world tour. But Soonyoung has no time to procrastinate. The comeback is just around the corner.

Locking eyes with Seungcheol, Soonyoung knows he’s silently pleading. It’s just impossible for him to say no. “Alright, alright. But please let’s be back soon.” Seungcheol’s eyes light up like a kid’s. Sometimes he wonders how even as responsible as a leader he is, this hyung is the real maknae of the group.

He grabs the towel nearby and wipes his sweat quickly. Seungcheol hands him a fresh shirt from the pile that they always keep nearby during practices. “So where do we go?”

“Two blocks from here, that chicken place Jeonghan and Seokmin love.”

He nods to this. Thank God it’s a fast food place. He can get a quick meal and dash.

The walk towards dinner was excruciatingly awkward. It seems like Seungcheol wanted to ask him something but was in a mental struggle on whether to do it or not. So instead of making small talk, he kept on sighing.

“Hyung, just ask.”

Seungcheol was surprised - like a deer caught in the headlights. Soonyoung would say it looked funny except that he’s really not in the mood for laughs at the moment. He just wanted to get it over with.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I can hear the gears of your brain churning, hyung.” he spins his finger around his temples to make a point. “You’re in this mental struggle, fighting with your thoughts. Please just tell me what it is.”

“Ah..” the other smiled like he was still contemplating whether it’s a good idea or not, but eventually gave in. “I just wanted to check on you… whether you’re really okay… I mean, after all that’s happened I haven’t had time to check with you or Jihoon.”

Ah that’s what it was about. Not like it shocked him. Everyone seems to still be caught up with it. It’s been months.. Soonyoung could say he was fine, but that’s only because he decided to shut down everything he felt and pretended it never was there. Is he okay?

“It’s been months, hyung. We both moved on from that.” he smiles a bit - an attempt at removing the tension from Seungcheol’s shoulders. He huffs a breath pretending that it’s because of the walking but he just wanted to get that shakiness out of his system.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know if it was okay to ask you…” the older turns to face him as they reach a corner, waiting for the crossing lights to turn green. “I never asked Jihoon… I mean, he didn’t want me.. or anyone to talk about it.”

The lights turn green and Soonyoung starts crossing the road, a small smile painting his lips, while Seungcheol follows a step behind. He doesn’t know what to say to that. What do you say to that? The person just wants to forget about it - period.

“Let’s just forget I asked, okay? I’m just worried. As long as you both are fine, I guess I am okay with that.”

They eventually reach the chicken place and as soon as they open the doors, he could already hear Seokmin laughing and Seungkwan nagging. These boys could literally not stop themselves from being goofy anywhere they go. Usually, he’s part of that gag team, but lately he hasn’t been that cheerful - he blames it on the pressure of the comeback.

The boys finally spot them walking in and as if on auto-mode, everyone beams at their arrival.

“Food isn’t here yet?” Seungcheol asks as he takes the seat next to Jeonghan, which Wonwoo just very quickly vacated. 

“Seungkwan and Hansol took so long to decide.” Jeonghan just rolls his eyes as he plays with the straw on his drink. The leader’s hand, as if with habit, instantly finds its way to rest on Jeonghan’s knee.

Soonyoung spots the space beside Dino and is thankful that it’s actually the nearest to the door. He can just bail at any time later if ever the rest of the group decides to stay longer than necessary. There were just eight of them, with Minghao, Mingyu, Joshua, Jun and Jihoon absent.

“Where are the others?” Seungcheol sounded concerned. But Dino was quick to waive his worries off. “They wanted to get some Chinese food, so they went somewhere else. Jun hyung swore that he had the best sweet and sour pork from that place.”

It wasn’t long and the food finally arrived. Soonyoung said he wasn’t hungry, but when the dishes arrived, he felt his stomach grumble on sight. “Hyung, here have some noodles.” Seungkwan offered. And sometimes, even though life seems to be tough, he’s just thankful that he found a place in this group of 13 boys who genuinely love and care for one another.

He actually ended up staying till they finished. And with his tummy full, he feels like he can actually focus on the choreography better. They all stand up and make their way out, with Jeonghan and Seungcheol splitting up the bill because of the four maknaes insisting on having the hyungs pay for it.

“I know I am not good at choreographies but do you want me to stay with you in the practice room tonight?” Wonwoo offers as he takes the walk beside him back to the dorms. “I can ask Mingyu to stay too.”

“Nah, you’ll just hold me back, I swear..” Soonyoung fakes annoyance, but in reality he’s thankful for the offer. It would be good to have someone at the practice room with him. He isn’t used to it yet, not having Jihoon in one corner focused on his laptop, headphones on, doing whatever genius work he’s doing. But he’ll be fine, he guesses.

Wonwoo smiles at the banter. “Well, just give me a call if you need any help. Carats don’t call me the king of sexy dance time for nothing.”

“Eww, disgusting!” he pushes his best friend playfully. “You really think you deserve that title?”

“Admit it!” Wonwoo shouts as he takes a left turn with the others, heading towards the dorm while he makes a right turn towards the practice room. “You know I’m sexy!”

He shakes his head, a smile still formed on his lips. He takes a look at his phone, checking the time.

_‘10:30 PM’_

It’s not that late yet. He decides to stay three or four more hours, he just needs to complete the choreography for Clap tomorrow so he can show it to their creative director and hired choreographer for some needed assessment and guidance. He makes an encouraging chant in his mind before jogging his way towards the practice room.

_‘You can do it, tiger!’_

\-----

The clip ends, and Soonyoung is just thankful that Youngjoon and Hyerim seem to approve of his ideas.

“I really like it. Very dynamic, but easy to follow.” Youngjoon explains while Hyerim agrees by nodding. “Just that I think there might still be parts that we need to be mindful of, like this part right here..” he points at the screen as he rewinds the clip a bit. “..this part here looks a bit repetitive. We have to change it up a bit to make it more… different.”

“I agree.” Hyerim adds. “But the whole choreography is really good… Let’s come up with the formations soon, alright?”

“I will study everything tonight and come up with something in two days' time, is that alright?” their choreographer suggests, while both of them nod in agreement.

Youngjoon eventually leaves the building, leaving Soonyoung and Hyerim in the office. It was a little past noon and Soonyoung, surprisingly, felt hungry. 

“Hey, Hyuno messaged me..” Hyerim says as they tidy the place up. “He’s inviting us tonight for some drinks. You in?”

“Nah, I’ll skip tonight.” he shakes his head as he brings the laptop over the audio-visual area. “Tell him thanks for inviting though.”

“Oh come on! You’ve been working non-stop these past few nights. You deserve a break.”

They close the door behind them and head towards the entrance. They didn’t have to talk about where they were going. It was sort of a custom for them to go grab coffee after a discussion before Soonyoung goes back to the dorm while Hyerim goes back to Pledis office, so they take a left towards the coffee shop nearby that they always frequent.

“Ah, the last time I went out with them I thought I was not gonna wake up the next day.”

CREO Gallery Cafe was situated on the first level of a commercial building. Though the place is quite open and airy, Soonyoung would still consider it secluded since the place isn’t frequented by many. It was a sunny day, but the wind was still chilly enough for him to wear his favorite hoodie. Soonyoung ordered his usual and so does their creative director. 

“We still don’t know where you went after that night though.” she says, continuing their earlier conversation while stirring her iced cafe latte.

Soonyoung grabbed his hot chocolate and headed for the usual seat they took. “Noona, you know if I do remember I would tell you.. but I really don’t.”

It was a lie. He does remember. Vaguely though. But he remembers.

\-----

_“H-hyung, I c-can’t take one more shot.” he stammers._

_“Aisshhh, Soonyoung-ie… just one more before you go!” Mingyun, the handsome choreographer from Look, pushes the shot glass for him to grab._

_“Ahhh, I can’t..” he shakes his head, hand up in defense. “If I take this, I won’t be able to wake up tomorrow.”_

_Hyuno, another choreographer, takes the shot glass and downs it in one go. “That’s enough. Let the boy go home.” a series of murmurs and protests were heard. “We don’t want Hyerim-noona to kick our asses.”_

_Lucky for Soonyoung, this seems to shut them up. He grabs the nearest glass of water and drinks as much as his system allows._

_He’s not drunk. Tipsy maybe. But not drunk._

_He clears his head as the last glass of alcohol takes a weak effect on him. The fact that he doesn’t have that headache yet means he’ll still be able to hail a cab back to the dorm._

_The ride was short since they decided to go to a nearby club, but that was because he found himself back at Pledis instead of their dorm. He might have gotten confused and gave the cab driver the office’s address. Or maybe the alcohol was starting to get to him, he's not sure. Jihoon's studio should be a good place to take a nap for now, just until he gets his senses back. Then he'll leave before Jihoon even finds him._

_The time reads half past five in the morning. The cafe nearby opens at five and since he can still walk, he makes the short trip. A hot drink will be nice. He groggily orders a hot cappuccino, just because, then he makes his way back to Pledis building._

_He feels for the keys in his small bag, the one with a hamster keychain, a gift from Bumzu. He twists the lock open and turns the knob slowly. The lights were dimmed, only the faint glow of the computer screen on lock and the neon lights were the sources of light. There was no one seated on the swivel chair._

_He looks to his right and makes out a figure on the sofa… it's Jihoon… and it seems that someone has brought food for him… but he didn't touch it…_

_'It should be cold by now.' he thought to himself as he makes his way in silently, leaving his hot coffee on the table. 'Just in case he wakes up and he needs something warm.'_

_It seems like he can't rest here. He can't be here. He's trying his best to stay away from Jihoon, yet here he is... his ultimate weakness... sleeping so peacefully on the sofa. Jihoon's cheeks were tinted pink and his beautiful lips cutely formed into a pout. Jihoon's soft snores make his heart flutter and Soonyoung knows this is not the reason why he avoided Jihoon for weeks now. Not for this one moment of weakness._

_He sighs and grabs the cold food and cola on the table, thinking that Jihoon should leave his studio later today to grab something hot to eat._

**Author's Note:**

> This was in my drafts for a very long time (since July 2019) but I never had the courage to post it.. Now, I feel like I can finally finish this.. Fingers crossed..


End file.
